The Breaker Of Promises

I made a promise to my sister, Laura, many years ago: every time you come from school, you'll always have someone to talk about your day with.From hand paintings to that math teacher she despised; I loved hearing about it and she loved telling me. She was always open with me which is why I never pushed her to tell me about the boys she saw, if any. I really wanted to ask. For her safety? Sure. But mostly for my insecurity towards her.A couple months ago, I broke that promise when I started seeing Cherry, the love of my life. Over time, Laura became accustomed to an empty couch, and I, the guilt. It wasn't much of a problem when Cherry was around, but when she wasn't, it came crawling back. Now, every time I spot Laura in the hallway of our house, she looks like she wants to kill me. Sometimes I pray at night hoping she does. At least if I'm dead, these words won't haunt me:A man can't love two women; not without lying.---I can hear her bare feet slapping against the tile flooring in the kitchen. They get louder, as per usual, when she sees or hears me. I know if Laura is angry by one of three things: her stomps, her excessive need to make noise, or her exaggerated sighs. She slams the refrigerator shut and lets out a long sigh."Sure. I'll pick you up at six." I speak into the wired phone while my shoulder braced against the wall, my back facing the fridge. "I love you too."I hang up the phone and turn around only to meet Laura.Her eyes are filled with fire and her words with demand, "She isn't coming over.""She's my girlfriend, and she is." I question her commanding voice indirectly but politely as possible. Laura's eighteen, and I'm twenty-three. Some would think a five year difference is enough to trounce, or at least make it justified to protest, but not Laura. She's stronger than I am, mentally for the most part. Although she makes me look the fool in front of our family, it makes me appreciate her more. Regardless, I still remained a liar to her, and a bad man."You're right. She is your girlfriend." Her face turns red. "She's also a bitch, a whore, and a skank.""Watch your mouth, Laura.." Or what?, I ask myself."Or what?" She crosses her arms in anger. "Lets see... You're already a liar... I guess all that's bahçelievler escort left is a beater."Laura squints her eyes and points a finger to her reddening cheek."Damn it, Laura, I would never lay a hand on you." I gently move her hand away from her face but she violently jerks her hand back and I respond in an attempt to calm her down, "You know I wouldn't.""You already have." She ducks her head down and trudges to her room, easing her door shut.Some men live alone, and some men live with their wives. I live with a lie. It doesn't have beautiful hair, and it doesn't have radiant eyes. It follows me everywhere because it's loyal. But I can't take a second bite of a meal without it clawing at my mind. I can't file for a divorce because it isn't a person. And I can't wake up from it because it isn't a nightmare. I'm Bryan, the breaker of promises.---The protective plastic on her couch is starting to bug me."So, I can't come to your place 'cause your sister's got a thorn up her ass.""Don't talk about her that way..." I balk at Cherry.She takes her arm off my shoulders and looks at me in awe. "And now you're getting mad at me?""It's this damned couch and the stupid fucking plastic!" I complain, scrunching the edge of the seat.The couch isn't making me mad; I was. You can't split humans in half! Cloning myself is a great fantasy except, I'll always be the one stuck with the guilt."She's your sister, she'll come around." Cherry replies in an avert tone."Why do you love me, Cherry?" I ask out of nowhere."Because you're hot, handsome, I don't know?" Cherry replies. "Why are you asking?""Do you think liars deserve to be loved?" I inquire as I look at the flickering light bulb above us.Cherry's legs swing over my body and she puts both her hands on my shoulders. "Depends what you lie for. Now, are we going to have sex or what?"Cherry is four years older than I; she likes younger men I suppose. She has dark red hair, hazelnut eyes, and skin as pale as paper. She reminds me of a candy-cane for some fucking reason. And every time she talks, she sounds like she's scolding someone; I find that amusing.The image of Laura sobbing in her room because of me yenibosna escort acts as a distraction while Cherry carefully unbuttons my shirt. "Are you going to undress me, or do I have to do that too?" Cherry says in a chastising tone."I don't feel like doing this, Cher." I quickly button up. "Not now..."I oust Cherry up off me and stand from the couch; the plastic retracts where I sat. Cherry follows suit but with a look of disgust across her face. "When then, next year?""Maybe. Maybe I don't like sex, maybe I get nervous at the sight of a naked woman, why can't you be okay with that?" I squabbled."I don't like your attitude." she contests."God, Cherry, not now. I have to do something!" I said, trying to cool down."Then do me, or I'll find someone else who will."My body shudders as my hands finds their way around her throat, "You...""Oh... I like it rough!" Cherry growls.I quickly release my hand and apologize. I almost did what I couldn't to Laura, and I feel like a monster. I don't hurt women, not even the ones who deserve it. Cherry doesn't deserve it. I keep apologizing as I made haste to my car; and it was to the point where I felt I was apologizing to myself.---Liars and beaters don't deserve forgiveness, Laura's voice tortures my head. Now I'm hearing non-existing words coming out of Laura's mouth. I question my sanity as I drive faster than usual down the dark roads of my small town. I need reassurance; it isn't to much to ask compared to closure.Eventually, I turn into the driveway of my parents, Mom's, house.I walk past Mom in the kitchen into Laura's room but find her door open, and bed empty. I inspect the clothes she wore earlier; they were on the floor. Gone, ten at night? Not customary. Not right."Mom, where's Laura?" I ask impatiently, walking into the kitchen."Ye 'just missed her. She's gone to her friend's house."My fists clench at the thought of her being with a boy, and chest sinks as the image of her being touched inappropriately crosses my mind. I think back earlier when my hands were around Cherry's throat. He might be hurting her, the voice in my head tells me. My head feels like a hornet's nest that's been disturbed one şirinevler escort too many times."God fucking damn it, why would you let her go out this late!" I bark at Mom."You know me and Laura aren't close!" Mom replies with an equal tone. "Do you really think denying her is a good idea?"My breathing becomes erratic as I try to speak but end up pointing my finger at Mom in a patronizing manner."Sheesh! I dropped her off at sixty-nine Willfaulkner Street!" Mom raises her hands up. "She can get mad at you, not me."I didn't let her finish speaking as I run out the door to my car.---I send Laura a text message telling her as I was picking her up and needed to speak with her urgently; the urgent part was in bold. She replies only moments after, telling me to go to hell. I'll go to hell after I bring you home.The red lights seem green, and the yellow lights tell me to floor it. Checking my blind-spot feels irrelevant and detrimental as I swerve in and out of lanes. I speed my way to the address my intelligent mother dropped her off at. I don't blame Mom. Her relationship with Laura was more severed then mine. At least Laura yells at me rather not talk to me at all. Mom once told me she felt alienated from her life. I never bothered to ask Laura about it even before she started hating me. I didn't care who she loved or didn't love, so long as she loved me."I can't love both damn it!" I punch the steering wheel, blaring the car horn.I can't take Cherry on expensive dinners and watch television with Laura at the same time! It isn't humanly possible!My car finds it's way in front of quite an expensive looking house. Is this the sort of crowd Laura likes to hang out with? When did this happen? I lock the car and walk up the marble steps; there were no railings, surprisingly. I feel stupid that that even matters at this moment. I ring the doorbell and wait impatiently for the door to open, but ultimately, it did."Can I help you... sir?" A boy slightly older than Laura answers.He's wearing messy black hair and worn-out jean shorts with a black vest. A silver chain runs around his neck. The audacity this prick has. I almost start to believe that I'm at the wrong house, but the the number sixty-nine shines golden above the door. A weight of disappointment crushes my chest."I'm here for Laura." I ask as politely as possible with my teeth grinding together, and my knuckles itching."Who are you, can I ask?" he responds.I start to smell the cigarettes on him, and in turn, my impatience grows."You can ask, but you need to bring my sister right now." I say, still keeping my cool."Right.