The Scriptwriter

Dramatis Personae:

Sunshine: Large breasted woman. Lingerie model.

Desmond: Geeky-looking guy. Scriptwriter.

Herbert Chin: Overweight, balding, middle-aged man. Porn Movie Producer.

Misty: Porn Starlet

Tracy: Porn Starlet

Buster Beaver: Male porn star.

Johnny Rubber: Male porn star

Act I

Pan across a bedroom in which there is a large double bed and a mirror closet. Focus on the reflection of a naked woman, Sunshine, who is masturbating loudly and enthusiastically with a vibrator. Zoom in on her crotch.

Masturbation: 5 minutes.

Pan back to the mirror closet. Focus on the reflection of a naked man, Desmond, whose penis is limp. He sits on the bed next to Sunshine.

Desmond: It's no fucking use. It's just not happening.

Sunshine: Are you sure it's nothing to do with me?

Desmond: Nothing at all. It's all me and nobody else. It's because nothing's happening with my writing that nothing's happening downstairs.

Sunshine: Let's put on a porno. That usually does the trick...

Desmond picks up a remote control and points it at a flat 56 inch TV screen. He scrolls down a selection of porn films. His face expresses acute dissatisfaction. He selects a film almost randomly and the screen displays a scene with a famous female porn star such as Jesse Jane or Kayden Kross being fucked by an equally famous male porn star such as Tom Gunn or James Deen. Desmond strokes his long penis desultorily, but it doesn't stir.

Desmond: It's not doing a fucking thing for me. It's my film scripts. Nobody's buying them. None of the agents. None of the studios. I write them. I proof them. I send them out. And it's nothing but one rejection after another.

Sunshine: What kind of scripts are they?

Desmond: Everything you can think of! Scripts for sitcoms. Scripts for television dramas. Scripts for blockbusters. Scripts for Rom Coms. Scripts for thrillers. Scripts for TV, cinema and the internet. I throw out the bait and no one's biting.

Desmond and Sunshine sit together on the bed silently. In the background can be heard the gasps, shrieks and screams of the female porn star (such as Stoya or Riley Steele) and more measured grunts from the male porn star. Sunshine grips Desmond's cock and strokes it while they stare at the television.

Sunshine: I think the solution's right in front of us...

Desmond: What do you mean?

Sunshine: Just look at the screen.

Desmond: You mean Bobby's Big Bazookas or whatever it's called.

Sunshine: I bet the film's not called anything like that. The ones here have names like Fashionista, Friends and Family and Roommates. If you didn't know they were porn you'd never guess from the titles. A lot of porn films these days have proper stories with characters and acting and stuff. Doesn't that suggest an opportunity?

Desmond: Even though the production standards are low, the acting skills even lower and the dialogue as wooden as the actors' pricks, I bet it's not an easy industry to get into...

Sunshine: Unless you've got a contact from inside the industry...

Desmond: Do you know anyone?

Sunshine: Not everyone like me who works in the fashion industry can make ends meet unless they do other stuff. One of the girls I worked with on the M